Sometimes i really feel that imma bad and lousy daughter.
Especially recently.
When my family have a bit of financial problem.
Then i have problems all over my body.
My hand.
My neck.
And my face.
My hand thingy started recently only.
After i twisted or whatever my hand during a handstand practice.
My mum have brought me to chinese sensei twice.
It's not cheap at all.
My neck started recently too.
Yea the "potential cancerous" mole.
Though spent nothing on it yet.
But i'm really scared if anything happens suaysuay-ly.
Then money will be needed again.
And i think it will be much more.
One good thing.
I feel that it is smaller now.
As in the size.
But what's happening within it?
I have no idea at all.
LOL.
Cause i never go and really check on it.
Haha.
Lastly.
My face.
As usual.
An every month thingy.
Super sian cannnnnnnnnn.!
It's tearing again.
Super red and itchy.
Gonna see the doctor tomorrow.
And it's not gonna be cheap again.
Confirm $50-$100 de.
T,T
I really do feel bad.
All i do is get money from my parents.
Sometimes when they come over.
They just get to wait for my sis and me with QQ in my sis's or my room.
When everyone else is sleeping.
It's either they won't get to see us at all.
Or just a few minutes.
Like "Hi daddy, mummy".
"Oh bye and goodnight daddy, mummy".
Sometimes all i do in these few minutes is just taking money from them.
Allowance. For doctor. For transport.
I really wanna work and provide all these for myself.
But i'm just too dumb.
Idk how to manage my time.
I need to find a job that can accommodate my school time and dance time.
It is really not easy.
And i admit that i'm lazy.
I am learning how to kick off the lazy habit already though.
But it's still too hard for me to find a nice job.
Arghhhhh.!
Idiotic life.
My parents ain't young anymore.
My mum is 5x and my dad is 6x.
Some of the people are already enjoying their lives at my parents' age.
But mine are still working freaking hard.
Even if they never get enough rest.
Even if they are sick.
They will still work and work just to earn money.
Not for themselves.
But for me and my sis.
I really feel very bad as a daughter.
An incapable daughter.
But i wanna make them feel good one day and enjoy life.
I wonder how long will i need.
T,T
