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/ if this is none of your business, then it is none of your business Tuesday, April 5, 2011 / 4:27 PM
Seriously i don't get this.
Losing phone few times means that i am irresponsible i know.
But it doesn't mean that i am a irresponsible person overall.
I tried to cover my irresponsibility,
I tried to be more responsible.
But in others' eyes, i am forever a loser.
Now no matter what i do, i myself will feel that i AM a loser too.
Feeling like a loser, doesn't make me go any way.
If you all want me to stay like a kid forever,
Go ahead and make me feel like a loser everytime and keep tying me up in your way.
IF THIS IS WHAT YOU ALL WANT.
To my Jie if you happen to see this:
I've brought up your baby issue for a reason.
I am not saying that i hate your baby or it's fucking wrong of you.
I am not saying that i have a problem or anything too.
I am happy that you got pregnant.
I am happy that you got married.
I know that you love your baby very much,
I love your baby very much too.
Let me tell you a scenario.
Your baby is like My phone.
You got pregnant accidentally is like How i got my phone lost accidentally.
Both are causes of irresponsibility.
So now to make up to our irresponsibility,
You love your girl very much, I tried to take care of my phone very much.
But the difference is your baby is that big and my phone is that small.
What you did for your baby is very obvious.
Everyone knows that you want the best for her, want to take care of her very well.
And what i did for my phone, you never managed to see a thing, or should i say NO ONE ever sees a thing.
I may still lose my phone again but it doesn't mean that i never tried to keep it by my side.
Your girl may turn naughty one day, but it doesn't mean that you have never tried pulling her back to right track in the first place or she wouldn't turn good and lovely again right?.
NOW people are giving you a very good chance to take care of this lovely little girl very well,
But no one ever gave me a chance to make up to my other responsibilities.
Yes, maybe you can say, "you everytime get a new phone but you will still lose it".
But when i am given a task that i really need to complete, i will still do it.
Even TonyHo knows that i've changed, i'm changing.
But why can't you see it, my best sister on earth??
All you know are my bad, no one in the house ever knows what i'm good with.
No one have ever gave a chance.
I thought you are the one who understands me the most at home.
It turned up to be wrong.
I'm just stupid.
There are a lot of things that you all don't understand.
I always pushed the laoren's letters to you, why?
Not because i cannot read or i don't understand.
It's just because i don't wanna give wrong information to them.
I am not confident of myself.
I asked you about travel insurance, why?
I know how to buy but i know online stuffs need to pay by cards and i don't have it.
Of course if i really don't understand i will still ask you.
Cause you are one of the person that i need to learn things from.
Everytime when you're at home, you all will complain that i never wash plates and i disagree, why?
It's because other than dinner, i will wash my own stuffs.
It is just because you all didn't see it or maybe you all saw ONE of the times when i didn't managed to wash in time.
Then you all assume.
No difference from lao da.
If you remember the yakult incident which chased me out of the house.
I am trying to ask you to let go of me a little.
I will talk to you, find you if i have a problem or anything.
I will still love to talk rubbish or gossip with you.
Now that you are pregnant.
Neither do i want you nor your baby to get upset.
I tried to keep my temper, but you made me feel like you are 24/7 looking down on me just now (if you know when).
How can i be nicer to a sister like this?
I know you want me to make you trust me.
But sometimes information that you need 不是说要给就可以给的.
Phone number you want, i can give you.
But not now cause i need to confirm and check first before i make any extra steps.
I already told you that i will tell you once i've confirmed.
Afterall, it is not my number, you don't know the owners and the owners are not in Singapore.
Hotel and details you want, i can give you.
I've already told you what i know,
And i've told you that i will update you again when i'm being updated again.
Some stuffs 不是说要懂就会懂的.
I also need to wait for other people to reply.
And this doesn't mean that we didn't plan anything.
Why can't you just understand...
.x.o.x.o.
AlodieT
